An American Horror Story

Okay, so this really isn't *just* an American horror story--it could happen to anyone, anywhere in the world--and it is horrifying.

A good friend of mine, we'll call him Stan, saw Apple's announcement for Airpods and immediately began pining.  He went to the store several times a week looking for this magical device, checked an online tracker almost daily to figure out when they would be in stock, and read reviews from people who'd been lucky enough to try them out.  Finally, the AirPods were available to order online, and Stan ordered with gusto, never mind the hefty price tag.

After weeks of waiting for their arrival, Stan finally received the shipment directly from China.  With trembling hands, he ripped open the package and pulled out the goods.  As always, the box containing the Apple wares was a work of art in itself.  Sleek, minimal and clean.

Inside the box, Stan beheld the little white charging container that housed the Airpods.  He read through the instructions quickly, turned on his iPhone 7, and flipped open the charger.  The AirPods synced immediately to his phone (like magic), and he tried them out.  It was everything that Stan had hoped for, and he was impressed. The sound was clean and unimpaired, the tapping functions worked as promised, and the syncing of one or both of the AirPods was nearly flawless.

 Always the worrier, Stand tried a number of activities to see if his AirPods would fall from his ears, but they didn't.  He tried running, shaking his head violently, flinging and contorting his body in every way possible.  He desperately tried to get the AirPods to slip out of his ears in a controlled environment, but they did not. They stayed exactly where they needed to be (like magic).

All in all, he was extremely pleased with the product. For exactly two and half days, the AirPods became an integral part of his life.  He used the AirPods for making phone calls, listening to music and podcasts, and occasionally requesting assistance from Siri.

On the third day, Stan was at work in a downtown office building, and went to use the restroom.  He entered the bathroom stall, closed the door and pulled out his AirPods to continue listening to Gimlet Media's Crimetown.  As he was placed the left AirPod into his left ear, it slipped from his fingers and splashed into the toilet.  His heart froze as he watched it plunge to the bottom of the bowl, where it came to a rest.  Almost instantly, Stan reacted and reached into the water to snatch the AirPod (and perhaps save it by sticking it in a bowl of rice), but his movement activated the automatic toilet flusher.  The rogue AirPod was sucked into the office building's plumbing system a fraction of a second before his fingers would have reached it.

And thus ended the magic.

Horror story of your own?  Share in the comments.